Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. And parenting goes hand in hand with education in the development of a child. Good parenting is a skill not inherited but learned and it is now more valuable than ever! However, parenting is a refresher course that we all can "enroll in" year after year. Therefore, here are some parenting skills that you can use to help build a closer relationship with your adolescent or teenager:

• Get yourself out of the way---this is not about you, it is about them. This will be the hardest thing to muster! Listen without judgement. Only talk when you have something constructive to say that will support your child and move them forward. Always...Always be positive! A negative accusation should be follwed by at least 5 positive attributes!
• No matter if they are 5 years old or 18 years of age, they are still just children. Whatever you may think (or what they might think)--they are still children and we have the responsibility to support them. Do not abandon your child; they need you now more than ever!
• Stop trying to be right. This is not about being right, it is about a lifelong relationship with your adolescent or teen. Get rid of the need to be right and ask yourself is it more important to show love and understanding or to be right?
• Be a role model--be the change in the world that YOU want to see. What example are you presenting to your child? Are you being the same what you are asking of your child? Think about it! Take a look at yourself and become a positive role model!
• Accomplishments vs. Qualities. How often do you praise your children on their qualities? We usually praise our children on the accomplishments they achieve but how often do we praise them on their qualities. Try it; they will thank you for it later on in their life.
• Have fun! When was the last time you did someting fun with your adolescent or teen? Fun is an important part of life. Go and do someting fun today. This can include a camping adventure, a sporting event, a shopping trip, a visit to a museum, a surprise party, a musical play or a short weekend vacation. Therefore, go have fun and prosper!

Use a couple of these parenting tips and you will notice the change in you and your child's relationship.

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